what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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