This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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