it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
