her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
