Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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