why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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