STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
