on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
