i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize