Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Randomize
