I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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