hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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