then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
