he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
