You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
