So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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