You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
then he tried to convert me to islam
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Sext me about skeletons
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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