i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
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