they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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