this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
