ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize