it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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