so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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