He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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