How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
