the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
