apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
