i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
