She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
there is puke in my bra ... again
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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