My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
