Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
