so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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