I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
