I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You ruined the universe
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
