Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
