We won't sleep together?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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