it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
All the doctor said was why
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
