using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
