nut hugger
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
