i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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