I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
