I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
