She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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