god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
