The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
