i permit you to call me
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
