I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
After tacos, we're chasing women.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Randomize
