what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
