"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
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