was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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