Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Do vagina's smell?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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