she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
