If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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