is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize