Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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