At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
