I want to have your abortion
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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