The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
