oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
