Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
The struggles of a small town man whore
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize