I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
