yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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