i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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