That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
