Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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