i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize